Finding Ourselves
by macaronicheezez96
Summary: Leah has returned from a long journey around the world, only to find that the situation on the reservation is changed quite a lot. People got married, had kids... but were all the marriages meant to be?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters mentioned here. Truth be told, I own _nothing. _Sad, huh?**

So, hello stranger who decided to click on my story! I won't try to promise that I will be the perfect fanfiction author who updates _constantly_ and _regularly_, because for those of you who've already read my other unfinished story, they know it's not true. And, speaking of those who did read the other story- a few choice words:**  
**

I'm real sorry about A New Beginning. I've reached a point in it that's really hard to pass, and I'm hoping *fingers crossed* that this story will be a sort of creative outlet, that will help me crack the code for the other story. Twisted hypothesis, but whatever.

And, here it is, the first chapter. Don't judge my Leah too harshly (though criticism, both positive and negative, is _greatly_ appreciated), but I felt that this was bound to happen to her, and she was about to do something like this. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 1

I stood at the foot of the driveway, a hesitant smile on my lips, waiting for my mother to realise that I was waiting outside, waiting for her to come to me. I ran my fingers over the rim of the suitcase at my side, then I let out a low whistle, that had been a habit of mine when I was a young kid, and soon enough, the front door burst open and both Seth and Mom ran down the porch steps in my direction.

"Oh my baby!" my mom yelped as she slammed into me and wrapped her arms around my neck like a steel vice. "Oh I've missed you so, so much!"

I felt a warm hand at the small of my back, and I caught Seth looking at me from the corner of my eye. My mother eventually pulled away and Seth carried in my cases for me as I followed them inside. My childhood immediately came back to me then. It assaulted me, like a head-on collision, and I stood—momentarily stunned—in the hallway, gripping at the door frame.

"What, are you just gonna stand there, Lee?" Seth said as he bounded down the stairs in one swift motion and enveloped me in a bear hug. "So much as happened since you left, Lee. You missed out on _everything."_

"Tell me," my mom called from the kitchen as I heard an assortment of pots clanking against pans, " how'd it go?"

"Which one?" I asked, venturing into the kitchen and leaning against the counter. "South America or India?"

"Start with South America first."

Of its own accord, my mouth pulled up into a huge smile. "It was beautiful. Ghana, Peru... Brazil was in carnival... Jesus, it drove me insane. The people at the hotel were real nice, and the kids there were so small... I truly felt like I was doing something _worthwhile_ with them. Then India was totally different. I rode an elephant, mom, _an elephant._"

"Do you have photos?" Seth asked, looking at me curiously.

"Only a couple of thousand. And I brought stuff for everyone," I stated, reaching for the backpack on my back and setting it down on the dining room table. I retrieved two little wooden boxes from my bag and turned around to face my Mom and Seth proudly. I opened one of them, and took out a small, silver, hand crafted elephant hanging from a black elastic thread. "This elephant brings good luck—see its upturned trunk? The Indians believe that it's a symbol for luck, and I got it for you, Seth. It's hanging from an elastic thread, so you can wear it in wolf form and human form all the time, because it will just stretch to fit your neck."

He took it into his upturned palm and immediately looped it around his neck, studying it closely.

"And for you, mom, I went to a silk market in India, and I was simply mesmerized," I began, bringing out an assortment of coloured clothes held together by a piece of string, "and I know how much you like to wear dresses..."

I showed her one of them, holding it up for her to be able to see its proper length.

"Oh, Leah," she said tearfully as she ran her fingers over the fine material of the dress. "They're so beautiful."

"Yeah," Seth agreed, grinning at me exuberantly, but somehow, I realised that the smile didn't really reach his eyes. I figured I'd ask him about that later. "Do you want to go say hi to the others?"

It'd been a year since I'd seen the pack: Sam, Jacob, Paul, Quil, Embry, Emily, Billy... everyone. I'd missed them, sure, but this trip had helped me to get over my hatred for Sam and Emily, and I was anxious to see if my days of meditation had worked. Also, I wanted to give my gifts to everyone.

"Where would they all be?"

"Let's go see Billy first. The others are probably all at Sam and Emily's," Mom announced, studying my face for my usual reaction to someone mentioning them. "There's so many surprises waiting for you, hon!"

-:-

"Little Leah Clearwater," Billy cried as I stepped through his front door, and he held his arms open for me. I walked straight into them—my second father—and I held him tightly. "You had us a bit worried there, Leah. How are you?"

I smiled. "Much better. Don't expect too many tantrums from me anymore, Billy. I'm a much more... peaceful person, now. If you can call it that."

He smiled. "As always, Leah, it's good to have you back. The pack felt your lack of presence greatly. They'll be so happy to see you. Get me anything good, love?"

I smiled and opened my backpack again. "Slippers blessed by one of the monks I was with. He said they'll ward off bad spirits if you wear them, and bad dreams, too."

Billy grinned as I put them on his feet and patted his knee gently. My mom handed him a cup of coffee and she smiled as she eyed the slippers. Seth had gone round to tell everyone I was back like... like I was the princess returning home. Yeah, right.

"Thanks, Leah. No go off, show everyone that your pretty face as returned to La Push," he said, patting me on the shoulder. My mom bid me farewell as I set off, towards Sam's house. Somewhere, my heart clenched as I neared them. I hadn't phased in a year, but I think my wolf senses were waking up again as it grew re-accustomed to the Quileute air. I could feel the wolf inside me stretch and yawn as she woke up to the fresh smells.

As I approached Emily's house, there was a cluster of people, squashed up on her front porch, watching me walk up to them silently. I smiled at them all, and when they saw that, it was as if all hell broke loose. Emily clambered down the steps and rushed towards me, but my gaze was trained on someone else.

A young child was trying to climb down the stairs after Emily... a child who looked a lot like—

"Leah!" Emily cried as she wrapped her arms around me. Up close, she did look a bit fuller, which probably explained the little—"How are you? Oh my, I've missed you so much! Don't you _ever_ leave La Push again!"

I smiled as she continued rambling on and on and on, running her fingers through my hair, patting my back. I watched as the others watched this exchange between us closely, probably waiting for me to push her away or growl at her or something. I didn't, and let her pull only when she felt the need to.

"I want you to meet someone!" she chirped brightly, then grabbed my hand and towed me behind her up to the house. The little baby had reached the bottom step, and cooed happily when Emily reached him. She let go of my hand and scooped him up into her arms, bouncing him happily on her hip. "Leah, this is Levi. Levi," she said, letting him wrap his chubby fingers around her hand, "this is your Aunt Leah."

The baby was just like the pictures I'd seen of Sam when he was a small kid. His big brown eyes, his chin-length black hair, his copper skin... I smiled and held my arms out for him. He did the same and I placed him against me, feeling content as this little kid stared up at me in wonder.

Everyone else was smiling. Jared was hugging Kim to him, who in turn was rubbing her round belly. Paul and Rachel were smiling, Sam was watching me curiously, Quil was holding an excited Claire in her place, Embry was laughing and Collin and Brady were chuckling amongst themselves.

_My family._

"Hi everyone," I said, nodding to all that were there. A chorus of 'Hello Leah' resounded amongst them, and it seemed to me that they were a bit apprehensive, or anxious about my returning. "I've... I've got gifts!" I announced, nodding with my head to the backpack on my back.

Emily smiled brightly and, with her hand at the small of my back, she led me threw the throng of people into the house. Everyone followed me to the living room, where I settled down with Levi in my lap and placed the backpack on the coffee table. Everyone gathered around and sat at random intervals throughout the room.

The first, was Emily's. "Emily, these are for you," I said, as I held up four packets of seeds, "they're traditional Indian flowers... for your garden."

Emily clapped her hands in excitement and took them from my hands. "This is wonderful, Leah! Thank you!"

For Rachel and Kim, I'd gotten silk dresses just like my mom's. Kim, obviously, couldn't fit into them as yet, but she thanked me just the same. Claire got string of braids she could thread through her hair that I'd found at some Brazilian market.

"Now, you boys," I said, gathering all their attention. "You can thank me for this one." I got out five small glass bottles, sealed shut with a cork, and I gave one to each of them.

"What are they?"

"They're perfumes," they glared, "but they're not gay perfumes, you morons. I went to India, the place with _the book_..."

Realization dawned on their features and Paul grinned coyly.

"It's alluring perfume, I guess. Makes a man more desirable, which you guys really need and all that," Paul growled, humouring me, and I just laughed. Then I stopped. "Where's Jacob?" I asked looking around at everyone. Rachel was the first to talk.

"You've missed out on a lot, Lee. Jacob got married in January."

I was shocked, to say the least. Little Jacob Black _married._ "Wow," was all I could manage. The question that followed was a stupid one, really, but I had to ask. "To whom?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Bella, duh."

"What happened to the Cullen boy?"

Sam shrugged. "After the battle with the newborns... they just realised that if they stayed here any longer, they'd be doing each other and us harm. So the Cullens just up and left. Surprisingly, Bella and Edward finished on amicable terms. _Surprisingly._"

Again, "Wow. Jacob Black married. I missed out on _a lot._ How is he?"

"They're living in Forks with Charlie right now until they save up for an apartment in Seattle so that Bella can go to college. _But_, Jake's still trying to convince her to move back to La Push so that he can open a garage down here to fix up cars. They alternate every two weeks; they're coming to bunk with Billy next week. You'll see him then. Or when he calls a pack meeting."

"_He_ calls a pack meeting? Since when?"

"Since Sam dropped down from his Alpha post last summer." My head whipped around to look at Sam incredulously.

"I still phase, Lee. Just felt I should ease up on the responsibilities ever since Levi was born, and now, that Emily's pregnant again."

Everyone smiled collectively. It amazed me how in tune they were to each other. Levi crawled into his mother's lap and Emily smiled at me knowingly. This is how my life would have been if I had stayed behind, instead of having left La Push to 'find myself' in the farthest corners of the world. I sighed and ran a hand through my long hair. It would be time to cut it again.

"We've missed you, Leah," Embry said suddenly and he smiled at me. So did Quil and Jared.

"Welcome back, Lee," Paul nodded in agreement, and at that moment in time, I felt completely whole. I'd found myself.

-:-

I stood at the lip of the woods, watching as the trees swayed slightly, the leaves flew about in the wind, the bushes trembled... I sighed, and then walked on, peeling off my clothes and stuffing them into the embroidered duffel I'd gotten from India. I tied it around my arm, then took off in a sprint feeling the familiar warmth spread from the centre of my back, outwards, until I fell on four legs and kept on running through the woods. I hadn't done this in a year, and it felt totally invigorating.

I stretched my legs as much as they could, hearing the gentle _thud thud_ as they fell to the ground repeatedly. It was a comforting sound that I'd missed over the last year. In my mind, I smiled.

Suddenly, I felt something in my head, like a worm squirming uncomfortably. I stopped and set my ears back as I studied my surroundings.

_Leah?_

I paused. I sifted through the other wolf's mind for a while, then I immediately realised who it was. _Jacob? Oh my God, I haven't seen you—_

_A year, right? I wasn't at Sam's today, but Charlie told us that Billy said you'd come back. How are you?_

I mentally shrugged. _It was awesome. Everything is so much more different than La Push, and the people are, too. But—and don't let the others know this—but I missed phasing. It'd been a year since I'd phased, and now... it's wonderful, Jake. How are _you?_ I heard you got married. _

A large russet wolf appeared in front of me and he looked at me with sad eyes. _Yeah, I got married. _A huge wall clamped down in my mind, and I was momentarily stunned. I recognised it as him protecting his thoughts, and I guessed he was hiding him and Bella's intimate moments from me. I decided not to interfere.

_You know, I wish I hadn't missed so much really. You guys picked that one year I was away to do all the interesting stuff, _I thought snidely. _I mean, Ems had Levi, you got married, Jared got married, Rachel and Paul got married..._

_Yeah, it was a pretty hectic year for the pack. We missed you._

_I know. You guys are nothing without me._

The wolf moved over to me, and nudged my shoulder playfully. He let out his tongue, holding it out in a lopsided manner, like some idiotic little wolf.

_Hey,_ he scoffed, _I'm definitely not little._

I snorted_, Fine; I won't be hurting your pride anymore. How's married life treating you?_

Again, the wall clamped down.

It startled me when he did that, and I jumped slightly when it happened. Jacob seemed to sense my surprise, then relaxed a bit.

_No, it's okay, Lee. Just... going through a rough patch. _Suddenly, my mind was filled with images of Bella walking away with a small suitcase in her hand, college applications spread on the table, fights, nights sleeping on the couch...

_Wow, Jake. That sucks, I'm sorry. She left for college?_

_She just went to check everything out, try to get her bearings around the dorms and stuff..._

_So she accepted?_

The wolf in front of me shrugged indifferently. _I guess she did. _

_And what are you going to do? I mean, it's not fair on you. You put your whole life on hold just to stay back with her._

_I'm still getting used to her not being around. It's... weird. But I guess I should re-consider opening the garage in La Push... It would be a good way to fill up my time now that she's not going to be around._

_Did she consult with you?_

_No._

I sighed, then trotted over behind a tree and phased back, retrieving clothes from the duffel bag and slipping them on before I was joined by Jacob in human form. He pulled me into a hug and smiled.

"I could use your female advice now and then. Would you consider taking up the Beta position again?"

My eyes went wide when asked that. I had just returned from a tiring, but fulfilling journey. I wasn't sure if I could start shouldering responsibilities immediately. I stuttered slightly, then I closed my eyes.

"I don't know, Jake. Can I think about it?"

He smiled and squeezed my shoulder. "Sure, Lee." His eyes were soft as he studied my face, and his hand lingered on my shoulder for a little while too long. Then, I pulled away, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"See you round, Jake."

-:-

Rachel eyed me curiously. "You met Jake, didn't you?"

"Yeah. What's up with him and Bella?"

Rachel shrugged and handed me a steaming cup of coffee. Her new cottage—on a few doors down from Billy's—was extremely cosy. I burrowed myself into their olive couch, revelling in its comfort, and smiled up at Rachel sympathetically.

"Don't tell Jake this, but I think they got married too quickly. They're still so... young. And Bella's a bit of a selfish kid."

"Tell me about it. It's not fair on Jake, either, poor dude. Apart from having to co-ordinate a pack of morons, it's pretty tough having to deal with a stubborn ass wife back home."

"Ask Paul, he should know a thing or two about stubborn wives," Paul said suddenly as he walked into the room and threw a wink my way. Rachel flipped him off then turned back to thumbing through the magazine she had in her hands in a bored manner.

"Does he complain much?" Rachel asked then, eyeing Paul from beneath her lashes.

He shrugged and took my coffee from my hands and chugged it down. I punched him in the gut for doing that and he scowled at me before he turned back to answer Rachel's question. "He's usually pretty guarded with his thoughts around us. Doesn't let us see much, especially when we're a pack. But then again, Jake was always like that."

Rachel dismissed Paul's words and left to the kitchen to prepare some food, whilst I left the house and ran back into the woods, trying to soak up as much pine goodness as I could.

-:-

A gentle thudding.

Then a growl.

I opened my eyes and sifted through the thoughts in my head. Colours flashed by, trees moved in front of my eyes. I yawned, figuring it was one of the cubs.

But then, the cliff appeared in my mind and I grew more alert. What the hell were they doing at the cliffs? The wolf was looking down at the crashing waves below and he sighed.

I remained silent, clearing my own mind to be able to listen to his. He was pacing by the edge, and it worried me that he was so close. Suddenly, Bella's face appeared in my mind, and I realised it was Jacob who was looking down at the waves; it was Jacob's whose thoughts were so melancholy and sad...

And it was _Jacob_ who was wondering if he would make the fall or not.

* * *

Chapter one- a load off of my chest ;) Now, this first chapter, unfortunately, doesn't provide much light into the actual plot of the story... but, really, I couldn't just throw in the plot in the first chapter... would've been too in-your-face. But, I hope you liked it and, as I said before, BE NICE TO LEAH. And review. I love me some reviews :3


	2. Chapter 2

******Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related :/**

****But anyways, I'm here again, with a new chapter. And this was fast delivery but, a warning, don't expect this every time. I've got a little bit of free time on my hands and... I hope it's going to be long-lived :) To all those who reviewed: A HUGE, ENORMOUS THANK YOU. I really appreciated that, even though it was just the first chapter, you guys reviewed and, also- to my enjoyment- criticised. So, again, thank you :D

As to my soppy, mushy Leah character, I'm sorry if she upset some of you guys. I didn't mean to make her seem so... eurgh. But anyway, as I said, her softness (at first) is vital to the story. But, don't worry, I don't plan on making life on the rez perfect for long :P

So, enjoy!

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Chapter 2

I burst through the bushes and the huge russet wolf whipped his head around to look at me.

_Leah? What the hell are you doing here?_ He seemed genuinely shocked and his wide eyes stared at me, worried.

_What are _you_ doing staring down at the waves? Are you being fucking suicidal? _My thoughts were a mental yelp and, sensing my discomfort, Jacob moved away from the edge and closer to me.

_I'm not being suicidal... Phase back. _He said, and I was pretty sure he hadn't meant it as an order, but I took it as one and hightailed it behind a tree and phased back to human form, pulling on my clothes and rejoining Jacob who was now sitting on the ledge, brushing dirt off of his cut-offs and staring out at the ocean before us.

"Then explain yourself," I said, staring him down with my hands on my hips. Even though Jake was Alpha, he was still younger than me, and a part of me felt that he needed protection—be it emotional, mental... The physical I obviously couldn't provide, but I had learnt that even the smallest bit of effort could make the greatest difference. Jacob had always been a strong kid, so watching him be so down and depressed both saddened and frightened me.

_This_ was not the Jacob Black I grew up with. _This_ was the shell of a man who did not know what to do with himself.

He sighed and tugged at his hair. "It's just... this is not how I imagined married life would be, you get it? I'd imagined she'd be waiting for me when I got home from work, we'd eat together, then watch each other go to sleep... I've totally misread the whole concept of marriage, Lee."

With those words, it truly hit me how young Jacob actually was. He was four years younger than me... and he was just going to be twenty this summer. How could Bella have taken advantage of his poor, innocent heart? It hurt and stung that a woman could be so vile and hurtful to one of my brothers. How could she tug on his heartstrings repeatedly _without feeling a thing?_ How could she live with herself, knowing that she was causing Jacob this much heartache?

"It's not all like that, Jake. Sure, marriage isn't a bed of roses, but you carry the blood of Ephraim Black inside you. I don't think Ephraim would give up so easily on his lady because she's being selfish to him and providing a challenge. You're _Jacob. You_ like challenges. Come on, Jacob, where's your spirit?"

He looked at me with sad eyes. I remembered a time when Jacob was always smiling... maybe it was a bit longer than I really thought... I really didn't know. Maybe it had been before we'd phased? Probably... but I still remembered a time when we used to skive off patrols and the guys would steal cookies from Emily's place and bring them to First Beach so we'd eat them all together.

Had this one year sucked the life out of my brothers?

I clutched his shoulder and squeezed it tightly, with a force that would have broken a normal human's shoulder blade, but was comforting to Jacob instead. He smiled sadly, and it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'll be Beta if you man up to the whole situation."

His lips flew up, and it finally reached his eyes. He poked my stomach teasingly, and, for a second, I saw the old Jacob. "Maybe things will start to return back to normal."

-:-

"Mom?" I asked, joining her in the kitchen with my arms folded across my chest.

"Yeah, sweetie?" she asked, letting the wooden spoon rest on the pot handle and turning to face me properly.

I stuttered a bit, wondering if I was being a bit too nosy about the whole affair, but then I shrugged off my doubt, and went for it. "Were things between Jacob and Bella... rushed?"

She cocked her head to side when I asked her that, and a small smile was playing about her lips. "They got married in two months, Lee. I think it was rushed, yes. But I wasn't about to prance in the middle of the wedding plans and tell them to slow things down. It doesn't work that way. Billy tried to calm him down a bit... try to make him see things realistically... but Jacob is a strange boy. He'd been dreaming about marrying the girl of his dreams ever since he was a little boy. No one had the heart to stomp on his heart—"

"Even if his wife is doing that to him herself?"

My mother's face saddened immediately. Jacob had always been a second son to her, especially after his mom had died... so he was a very sore subject to her. "I can't do anything, Leah. You know I'd put myself in the line of fire for him... I love him as much as I love you and your brother, Leah. Don't you think it breaks my hurt to know that he shouldn't have married that girl?"

I glared at her. "I don't think he _shouldn't_ have married her... just slowed things down would have been much better. At least, they would have covered some ground rules..."

"You've always had a soft spot for Jacob," my mom said smugly, nudging me with her elbow. I glared at her some more.

"He's like my kid brother, ma. _And_ the fact that I have to _constantly_ listen to him bitch about his wife... does not make me at _all_ happy, and the whole pack too, as a whole. So, trying to generate positive energy throughout the whole pack—and Jacob—is my number one priority right now. What do you think I should do?"

She shrugged, and crossed her arms over her own chest, mimicking my stance. "Just... let it be for a while. Let them settle. Bella's bound to come back to Forks—no wife can stay away from her husband for too long—so I suggest you check things out from there."

My mother's reasoning was sound, but she also hadn't heard the turmoil in Jake's head, his nightmarish thoughts, his worries...

I would let it be for a while.

But if things didn't calm down like my mom said they would... Heads would roll. _Heads would roll._

-:-

I was walking back home from the store, groceries in hand, when Jake rumbled by with his Rabbit. I guessed he was moving back to Billy's for the week, and he smiled when he saw me looking.

"Need a ride?" he asked, after he lowered the passenger window and leaned onto the seat, eyeing me apprehensively.

I snorted, and looked towards me house. "Jacob, it's 20 feet from here. Lost your bearings, I see?"

He stuck his tongue out at me, but smiled nevertheless. A part of me had missed that smile. "Whatever," he mumbled, gripping the wheel with both hands and staring through the windshield. "Hey, I've got a new project for you."

Intrigued, I rested the bag against my hip and eyed him curiously. "Besides being Beta?"

He nodded. "I've decided I'm going to open the garage. If Bells is able to up and leave me without consultation, I'm going to go on with my own dream, regardless of what she has to say."

"Okay..." I said warily, before I opened the door and got in the car with him. I figured he would need more time to explain this to me, and doing so at the edge of a road was not appropriate. I placed the bag on the back seat then drummed my fingers against my thighs. "So, what is my new 'project'?"

He started driving again, keeping his eyes closely on the road. "I'm opening up the garage... And I need someone with a good head on her shoulders to manage... well, you know. Accounts and stuff. Bills, pay-checks, customers... the works."

I was quite flabbergasted at his proposal, to say the least. I mean, Beta _and_ managing affairs down at the garage? A part of me was worried that that would be a bit too much, and I wanted desperately to agree... But another, more rational part of me realised that I needed a job. That I couldn't keep bumming off of my mom for the rest of my life. I'd found myself, now I needed to get back on my feet, the Clearwater way.

"We split the pay between us evenly?" I bargained and he winced.

"What about guys working with me?"

I cocked an eyebrow up in amusement. "Don't you think you should start on your own first, before you drag anyone with you into a business endeavour that could possibly fail horribly?"

"Wow, Leah, real subtle on the pessimism," he said with a bored look on his face, but then he smiled my way. "See, this is why I'd thought you'd be perfect for the job. That... And the fact that you're also unemployed, which makes you fresh bait."

He stopped me in front of my house and set the bag in my lap.

"Any news from Bella?" I asked, but he shrugged.

"She likes it there," he said sullenly as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel—nervously, I realised. "I think she's going to stay there for a couple more weeks. I don't know." He passed a hand through his hair and the light caught in the gold band around his third finger. It was just a bit too much for me to wrap my head around the fact that Jacob was a married man. He was no longer a boy—reckless and carefree—he was a _man_, with a wife and responsibilities and worries and a whole pack of moronic wolves to lead...

"I'll call you when I find a great place for the garage."

I nodded. "Keep it on the rez, Jake. I want to be able to walk to work."

-:-

"This place... is a pig sty. No shit," I groaned, kicking at something on the floor and muttering in disgust.

"It's the best I could find, it's on the rez, and it's big enough for us. And, best of all, it's cheap," he said, checking off all the pros from the list as he moved towards the back door and pushed it open. Light flooded into the whole place, and it was true, it was big. It could probably house six cars together at the same time comfortably, so Jake had a point there in saying that it was big. And it was what he needed, both for the job and for himself.

A part of me figured that Jacob needed this job to get his mind off of the Bella stuff. So, I encouraged him every step of the way.

"So, I was thinking," he said as he moved over to a door that was to one side of the garage and opened it. On the other side, there was a reasonably sized room. "This could be your office," he continued, jerking his thumb towards the room and smiling.

I peered in with an apprehensive look, eyes darting to and fro about the room. "Wow, things are going to be real serious, huh?" I asked, in a teasing tone.

"That's how I intend it to be."

"_So..._ We get this place cleaned up, fresh coat of paint, and start with the basic fix-ups. When we get enough clientele from that, we invest in the proper machinery and stuff you'll need, and you'll try to expand your business further."

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down, an impressed look on his face. "I was right..." he mumbled softly.

"Right about what?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips and eyeing him curiously.

"About choosing you."

-:-

Jacob put me in charge of pack duties whilst he put the guys to work on his new 'project', but really, there was not much I could do, or_ had_ to do, for that matter. Now that the Cullens were gone, any immediate threats from vampires were dissolved. What we had planned to keep up, actually, were the border patrols three times a week, two wolves each. It wasn't that much of a hectic job, and I could tell that the wolves were losing heart in it all. Ever since Emily had given birth to Levi, everyone had realised that life had to go on, at some point, so everyone was trying their best to move on, and start a family.

The imprints were bound to get pregnant or have kids, and the remaining few wolves that hadn't imprinted, had yet to do so. Everyone would have their happy ending.

Everyone but me.

I sighed as I stared at the patrol plan I'd drawn up—it was nothing, really, but at least it was a start. I'd put the wolves who hadn't imprinted, on twice a week each—Collin, Brady, Seth and I—whilst the others would get once a week, alternating. Seemed like a good plan, at the most.

I yawned, and lifted my arms, hearing the joints pop as I did so. I'd spent hours on that stupid patrol plan, and if Jacob didn't approve of it... There'd be hell to pay. Tucking it into my back pocket, I walked out the door and down the street, to Jacob's new place, where he was busy arguing with Seth, Brady and Collin. It seemed to me that these poor kids got the brunt of everything.

They had cleaned out the garage, discarding the bits and pieces that had been left behind by the previous owners, and were now trying to clean up the large room and the smaller room to the side. There was a new air to the garage... it gave me hope that this would actually work. Over the past year, I'd learned to be a glass-half-full kind of person, but of late, the reservation had awakened those pessimistic emotions inside of me, that had ate away at me initially.

I smiled at them, and tried to see the bright side to Jacob's plan. It was a very slim side, but nevertheless, it was there. Jacob produced five pots of white paint when they'd swept the floor as best they could, and set us all to work. Normally, I would've bitten his head off for ordering me about, but when I'd dipped the brush into the paint, and held it up to the wall, I realised it was a sort of release for me. Every brush stroke was me putting my very heart and soul into something that was finally showing promise, something that was not going to be an entire flop.

I smiled throughout the entire process of converting Jacob's rundown garage into a presentable work place for both him and me, and good enough to attract people to it. A week later—paint had dried for the third time, loose tiles had been fixed, a desk had been dismantled and re-constructed in my 'office', a coffee machine had been bought, and all Jacob's tools had been transferred from his shed to the garage—Jake and I stood proudly before the open garage door, watching and waiting patiently as the new sign dried in the warm La Push sun. I felt foolish staring at the sign, but it held something to it that made our project real and tangible.

Excitement rolled off of Jacob in waves. He'd already spread the word down at the grocery store, and for our first day as car entrepreneurs, he already had three clients booked. Of course, no one in La Push could resist Jacob's charm, or deny the fact that he deserved respect and a chance to prove himself, just because he was a _Black_. That name held something to it, that just demanded loyalty and approval. Jacob could never do any wrong, he would never be regarded as a black sheep of sorts... which is why, I think, he'd never second-guessed his decision to open the garage because, in his heart of hearts, he _knew _that people would come crawling to him.

"It's a tacky sign," I repeated for the umpteenth time, then shook my head and walked inside.

"What's so tacky about it?" he asked, following me and settling down on a chair as I made a cup of coffee.

I stared at him blatantly. "The fact that you were vain enough to put your name on it, simply proves my point."

"Come on, Lee. That's the _best_ way to attract people and you know it."

"Yeah, because _you're Jacob._ You can do no wrong," I explained, letting a teasing tinge drip into my voice. He picked up on it easily and smirked.

"Jealous, I see?"

"Not at all," I mumbled, bringing the coffee to my lips and taking a lengthy sip from it. "I'm just stating the obvious."

The first client rolled in and kept Jacob occupied enough to leave me alone. Of course, this liberty was short lived because the client—an Adam Redstone from the Rez—left the car to Jacob, but however, was not ready to leave _me_ alone. He rambled on and on about nonsensical stuff, and I simply hmphed and humphed to shut him up. I realised that Jacob was getting a kick out of my impending headache, and in passing by him as Adam talked, I pinched and prodded him numerous times to get him to feel an ounce of my pain... it didn't work. Adam was a determined, annoying, persistent man who, despite my obvious efforts to push him away, couldn't seem to pick up on them.

The second and third clients came and went much quicker than Adam had. It seemed my actual job at the garage was to entertain the clients, not to actually handle money issues and such... and it annoyed me that they were treating me as an object _just_ because I was in an area of expertise that required only Y-chromosomes to input any type of progress. Immature bastards.

Of course, they were all men, and I could tell that they were more than happy to pull me aside and flirt aimlessly with me, even though I was obviously showing no interest. Jacob was of no help. By time, I learned. When Jack Moonfeather arrived, I hightailed it to my 'office' and locked myself in there, nursing a stale cup of coffee in one hand, and the patrol plan in the other. Jacob had approved of it, sure, but I myself was still unsure about it. I wanted to make sure that there weren't any loopholes in it, that could cause my brothers any potential harm.

When I eventually heard Jack's car rumble out of the garage—only _then—_did I let myself out of the room.

"Wow, Lee, your presence is working better than I thought," he commented, wiping his hands down on a piece of cloth and chucking his loose tools into the tool box.

"Shut up. I seriously haven't thought this through," I muttered, kicking at the ground.

"Come on, you like the attention."

I rolled my eyes and did my best to keep my hand away from his face. "I do not enjoy it from worthless, annoying pieces of garbage—"

"That will make us money. Glass half full, remember?"

I glared at him, but then my resolve broke. He had a point. If the only way to keep this business alive was to use me as sexual bait... then he had another thing coming. I slapped him anyway—either to drive my point, or just for the benefit of slapping the Alpha, I didn't care. He had _no right_ to use me as sexual bait, and if they thought that new, optimistic, happy Leah would be one hundred per cent ready to indulge in these degrading ideas, then they'd totally misread the whole concept of 'finding myself'.

"Fine, I get it. No sexual bait. Fair deal," he groaned as he nursed his cheek, being too dramatic as always.

"Think of other marketing schemes that _don't_ involve my boobs or my ass, thank you very _much_," I snapped, fishing in his back pocket for the wad of bills he'd acquired throughout the day and taking them back to my room, where I stowed them away in a small safety box, whose key I wrapped around my neck.

"I'll get to thinking, then," he chirped brightly, then grabbed his keys and led me out of the garage, closing it behind us, then casually slinging his arm over my shoulder. I pushed him off, not appreciating the close proximity of our bodies.

"Haven't got laid in a while, I see?" I observed slyly and he blushed slightly.

"Well... Bella's not around, so there's not much I can do in that prospect," he admits and plays with his hands for a while as we walk back home.

"Oh, come on Jacob. I've been in your mind thousands of times—there's not much left for the imagination, believe me," I grinned, nudging him in the gut playfully.

He smiled too, and I was glad that he took it lightly. The boys had never liked it much that they had to share their horrid, crude thoughts with me, the most daunting, domineering woman in La Push. I wasn't the friendliest of people, and I wasn't the most forgiving either—I knew how to hold a grudge.

"Hey, your mind wasn't a walk in the park either," he commented, his fist clenching over my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. "But that was old Leah. New Leah's mind is insightful and concerned with appreciating the beauty of the world. Remember, I'm a glass-half-full kind of person now."

"How'd you manage to do it?" he asked, looking at me sideways from underneath his lashes. "How'd you manage to get so far and not get lost in the world?"

I shrugged and smiled simply. "It was all a matter of strong will."

"Tell me about it. Tell me about your trip."

I didn't do it of my own accord, but it happened anyway—my smile grew wider, as it always did when I thought back and let the memories flood my mind. "It was hard to figure out what I actually had to do... to find myself, so to speak. My first theory was that I needed to be alone... that I'd spent _too_ much time in a pack, having people _constantly_ in my mind, and that was what had driven me off the edge. So, I decided to spend time completely cut off from everything and everyone... and I did it. But two weeks into it, I realised that I was failing miserably. I remember, I had been climbing some waterfall to jump back down again, and it had suddenly struck me: _Leah, this isn't working._ I'd grown even more irritable than I'd ever been, and I concluded that I couldn't do this.

"We're pack animals, Jake. We need people. So I decided I needed to integrate myself more in society: the waterfall was in Ghana. I travelled to Peru—two months before my ticket to India became valid—and I joined some nuns who ran an orphanage there, and I helped about with the cooking, cleaning, washing, playing with the kids... It was truly an eye-opening experience. The kids there were so simple, and content with absolutely _nothing_... that it truly made me appreciate the little things we have, Jacob. The last week I went to Brazil. Purely by chance, it was carnival time, and that was truly a blast... That was six months into the trip.

"India is... a gem. There are really no words to describe it. It's something so totally different to La Push. We are just one tiny speck to the world. One, tiny insignificant speck. I was living with a bunch of Hindu monks for a while. They accept a few people to live with them for a few months, and I was lucky enough to get accepted. They were sixteen monks in total, and they lived in this totally secluded monastery, at the foot of a Himalayan mountain, and I spent four months there. Four months of meditation, and 'cleansing of my soul' as they called it. It was a pretty cool experience—they helped me get over my heated emotions towards the world and taught me how to contain myself, with losing my passion, as one of the called it.

"I also read into Hindu history, learning all about the necessary stuff I needed to know. The last two months, I spent them roaming the Indian streets, and I lived with another orphanage, doing the same stuff I did in Peru. I rode an elephant there, too. I got caught in some traditional wedding celebrations and the elephant's owner thought I was pretty enough to promote his elephant, so he let me ride it around with the kids from the orphanage for a while and they enjoyed it so much... I went to the Taj Mahal, bathed in the Brahmaputra, walked the streets Ghandi walked in..." I sighed, content. I'd poured my heart and soul into that description of my trip, wanting it to be portrayed as perfect as it had actually been.

We had stopped walking, and I hadn't even realised—too lost to even realise we had stopped. Jacob was smiling down at me, with admiration in his eyes. I guess, he had never seen me so happy before. True, I hadn't been much of a happy person before I'd left for South America, but I had smiled... some times. I think.

Jacob stared on at me, unblinking, not averting his gaze. Maybe it was because he was Alpha—everything about him held a certain weight or significance. He'd never looked at me like this: it was as if his eyes were pushing me down. I looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm happy for you, Lee. But—and I'm being serious about this—don't you _ever_ bail on us again, Leah. The whole pack was literally lost without you." The words came tumbling out of his mouth so quickly, that I didn't have enough time to properly understand them before he was pulling me into a tight embrace that shook me to my very core.

* * *

*Whooosh* chapter 2 :) I'll try to update as soon as possible again, but I'm not making any promises.

Also, I'm still setting the plot to the story, so be patient please :D I hope you liked it and, as always, REVIEWWWWW!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Jacob is a married man._

That thought rang through my head as he continued to hold me close, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

_He's married to Bella._

_He's the Alpha._

_He's your friend._

All reasons to push him away. Which is why I did exactly that. I placed my hands firmly against his chest and pushed against him, until his arms fell loose around my back and he moved away.

"Sorry about that. I just missed you, Lee," he admitted bashfully, scratching the back of his neck as he eyed the ground beneath his feet.

"Okay. We need to set up some ground rules, got it?" I stated, placing my hands firmly on my hips and eyeing him closely. "No unneeded physical contact—"

"What borders on 'needed' contact, then?" he asked, smirking smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.

I thought for a second. "Choking hazards. Broken limbs. Pulsating, gashing wounds with gallons of blood—"

"Jesus, you are _so_ macabre, Clearwater," he nudged me playfully but then fell silent, I assumed, in agreement. He nodded. "Fine. Since we'll be spending most of our waking days together, ground rules and boundaries are necessary."

"I told you so."

Absently, he was leading me into the woods, walking casually around bushes, trees, lost in conversation. With Jacob, I was at ease. Sure, that first day when I'd returned, everything had seemed perfect and fucking dandy back at Emily's place... but really, it wasn't. The whole purpose of my trip was to calm myself down and get a better outlook on life. I was tired of being labelled as the snide bitch who had to live the rest of her days watching Emily and Sam play happy family together. So, I tried to vent my frustration and create a new image to myself.

I didn't do it to please the others around me... I truly wanted to re-invent myself, because that was what I felt that I needed. So I went and did it... I learned to get over my hate, and be a more positive person...

But watching Emily look at me and talk to me as if nothing had happened stung greatly. It pulled and prodded at my heart, and I just wanted to break down.

Because after all these years, _I_ had always been the one to feel remorseful and guilty about what happened. The fact that she flew onto me and hugged me—believing that a year away from the Reservation would get me to like her—was proof that she _wasn't_ guilty about what happened. She had just been waiting for me to crack to welcome me into her pink and fluffy world.

"Thinking about Sam and Emily, huh?" Jacob asked out of the blue.

My head snapped up to look at him. I was going to lie, tell him that I wasn't wasting my time... but the way his soft eyes roamed over my face, just pleading with me to talk him... I couldn't resist. "Yeah," I muttered.

"Still got the hate, Lee?"

It angered me that his words rang so true in my mind. Why did it have to be so? Why did every single thing they do have to hurt me so badly? I wrapped my arms around my torso. "It's hard to bury such passionate feelings. The monks said it was easy, and they said I did it, but really, it isn't true. How can you tell if your feelings for someone are gone if that someone is millions of miles away?"

Jacob shrugged and clenched his fist. "When you left, Sam's pack was real happy. They figured, with you gone, they could go on with their lives, that you'd return and be all nice to them and happy—"

"Which is exactly what I did my first day here. I went there, and I acted all perfect and happy about everything. I'm such a fucking _idiot_," I screeched, raising my hands up towards the Heavens.

Jacob chuckled slightly. "Leah, you wanted to prove to everyone that your trip was a success."

"No excuse for Emily's behaviour. She _forgave _me. What the fuck is that about? What right does _she _have to forgive _me_?"

My body had missed these emotions coursing through me. I had grown accustomed to them over the years, but a year away from the rez had calmed me down and cut me off completely from them. Now that I was back, however, they ran all over my body with a fierce intensity that I just couldn't control. I clenched my fists tightly and steeled my jaw, keeping myself from phasing, but _just barely_.

"I didn't even know she was pregnant," I hissed, digging my nails deeper into my palms, just to enjoy the painful feeling that resulted from doing so.

"She'd been seven months into the whole thing when you left... remember? She was avoiding you? You hadn't seen her in a long time?"

"How _sweet_. Being considerate of Leah's feelings _again_."

"Whoa, Leah, what happened all of a sudden? You were all happy and positive a few moments ago and now... what gives?" he asked, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me back. There was no use fighting against Jacob's hold. I didn't even try to—my attempts would be futile, anyway. I just stared into his onyx eyes, watching the mixed emotions swirl in their darkness, trying to search my mind for a reasonable explanation to my whole outburst.

Had my trip actually been for _nothing?_

No, I refused to believe that. Apart from the Sam-Emily thing, I was doing quite okay, trying to move on with my life...

"Le-_ah_," he pressed, pushing his thumb into my shoulder blade. I ignored it and looked away, towards the trees.

"Just... I didn't think this through. Sure, I'd been wanting to get off the reservation since _forever_, but the fact that my return has sort of sparked the idea in the pack that I'm going to be nice to everyone all of a sudden is... irritating. I mean, sure, I cushioned it by bringing everyone gifts—but really, they're my brothers, I _needed_ to get them something. And I couldn't just buy Rach something, and leave the rest of the imprints out, because then all hell would break loose. I was trying to be diplomatic..."

"You're annoyed with your new good-girl image?"

"I'm annoyed that _just because_ I was nice to Emily that first day, and didn't push her off of me, that everyone is suddenly appreciating me and actually looking at me. It irritates me that Emily is the pivotal point in the pack, that everything goes back and forth depending on her state. And I'm not being jealous... it's just that, even when I try to be good, and try to make peace, they just do something to piss me off."

Jacob laughed and let go of my shoulder. "Oh Leah, so difficult to understand."

"No, stop being like that."

"Listen to me," he said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're one pack now. Everyone likes everyone, got it? You have no obligation to Emily or the other imprints—your only obligation is to the _pack_, got it?"

I paused for a second, soaking in his words. Then, realization dawned on me and I smiled. "So I'm above Sam in the pack?" I asked warily, eyeing Jacob, and when he nodded, I almost squealed with delight.

This was going to get good.

-:-

"Jacob," a muffled voice breathed from the other end of the line and I rolled my eyes. _Bella Swan._

"No, it's Leah."

"Oh..." she paused, "well, is Jake there?"

_Be nice, Leah. _"Where would you expect him to be?" I snapped harshly, then wanted to bite them back. Despite her being a selfish bitch, she was, after all, Jacob's wife. And since Jacob was not just any wolf, and Bella was the Alpha's wife, then I had to be on my best behaviour—Seth's lecture, not mine.

She stuttered at my words—Bella had never really liked me. "Well, can I talk to him?" she asked, after regaining some of her composure, and with a roll of my eyes, I held the receiver away from my mouth and called for Jacob.

"What?" Jacob ask-yelled from somewhere inside the house.

"_It's Bella!"_ I yelled back and, a clatter and commotion later, Jacob was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, reaching for the receiver. He mouthed 'Go away' before he placed it against his ear, but I didn't listen to him. No matter where I went, I would still be able to listen in on their conversation, so trying my best to get away from them would be a waste of time.

"Bells?" Jacob asked, giving me his back so that he was facing the kitchen sink and I was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through some magazine mindlessly.

"Oh, hi Jake," she answered happily, and his shoulders slumped, probably relieving himself of some of the tension. "How are you?"

She had the _audacity_ to ask – "I'm okay, Bells. How about you?"

"Oh, it's so wonderful here!" she chirped brightly, and Jake's shoulders tensed again. "My room is perfect—it's so huge—and my roommate's real nice—"

"So, you've accepted the application?"

She laughed slowly from the other end. "Well, I kind of accepted it the minute I left home, Jake. I've already started my lectures and stuff—"

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

This girl was unbelievable. And she was in _college?_ A low growl erupted from Jake's chest and he started shaking. Unfortunately, Bella couldn't hear Jacob's reaction to her response, and she kept rambling on about her courses and school stuff whilst Jacob calmed himself down.

"I opened the garage."

She stopped talking for a second, then assaulted him with questions. "You opened the _what?_"

"Bells, you left off for college. We _need_ money for your tuition, Bella, it's not going to come out of thin air."

"Well, if you put it that way... How's it going, then?"

He shrugged. "I only just opened it a week ago; Bella, but I've had a fair share of clients. Leah's helping me with the—"

"Leah? Really? Leah Clearwater?" I growled, and Jacob swirled around to glare at me—maybe because I was listening in, or because I was growling at his wife... I didn't know.

"Yeah, what's wrong about that?"

"Well..." she started uncomfortably, "I mean, it's _Leah_." Ah, yes, my name. Provides such insight as to why I'm inappropriate for the job. I smirked and rolled my eyes, and Jacob was still glaring at me. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you spending so much time with her..."

Jake's fingers were clasped so tightly around the receiver I thought he was going to break it. He was _livid. _

"Jacob, calm down," I whispered, and his eyes flew up to mine. It wasn't Jake anymore. It was the wolf inside him, seething with anger that his wife was being so inconsiderate and impossible. I couldn't let him phase in Billy's kitchen—that would _kill_ Billy. Swiftly, and without waiting to see if Jacob would protest or not, I took the receiver out of his hand and placed it back in its cradle, then led Jacob out the back door and into the back yard, steering him clear of anything that was breakable. He was still angry, clenching and unclenching his fists and staring off at the trees.

I don't know how long we spent glaring at each other, but it seemed like an eternity. When he was finally calm enough to formulate sentences, he began cussing Bella. I felt that I had to stop him, but my instincts told me not to. Jacob needed an outlet to all the pent-up anger and frustration that his wife was causing him, and I wasn't going to be the one to judge him on how he did it. So, I let him curse Bella's name as he kicked stones about beneath his feet, growling angrily...

"Sorry about that," he said after a few minutes of pacing from one side to the other of the back yard. He sat down beside me at the picnic table and held his head in his hands. This posture made my Alpha look vulnerable. I deliberated between stroking his shoulder or hand, but then I just let it be, and stared at him.

"It's okay—"

"I mean, how can she say that? She goes off and does what the hell she wants with her life, and I can't even get a job because she doesn't approve of who I work with?" he rambled on, slamming his palms down against the table repeatedly. Every time his hands made contact with the table, I jumped slightly. An angry Alpha was not something I'd want to experience up close. I thought about scooting away to a safe distance, but I figured he'd only get madder. So I stayed put.

"Listen, you have to stand up for yourself, Jacob. _Man the hell up_," I snapped, and he lifted his head up to look at me. "Bella can't run your life from... where is she, exactly?"

"University of Alaska."

My eyebrows almost disappeared into my hairline. "_Alaska? _What the hell is she doing in Alaska?"

He shrugged. "She said they had the best science programs up there—"

"But Alaska, really?"

"It's unfair, isn't it?"

"It is." I was blatant and rude. I did not care—Jacob needed to know the truth about how I felt about the whole thing. Bella was basically pulling him along for a ride, and he wasn't even protesting! It baffled me that the Alpha—the Alpha of a huge pack—could be reduced to mush by a twenty-one year old albino kid.

Jacob rubbed at his eyes viciously. "When did my life become this, Lee?"

I snorted. "When _your_ wife hooked up with that vampire and led us all to our misery."

Surprisingly, he laughed at my explanation about our downfall—but we both knew that every ounce of it was true. "That's true..." he sighed, and scratched his head.

-:-

"Bonfire time," Seth called out as we walked towards the clearing where we supposed to meet with the others. I hadn't had a bonfire in a long time, and I was cradling the marshmallow packet in my hands, suddenly a bit nervous. I didn't know _why_ I was feeling that way. Maybe it was because I knew the other wolves were expecting me to be the happy, sweet Leah they'd met on my first day back?

Well, screw them, I thought as I held the marshmallows closer to me. A part of my resolve broke when Claire rushed to me with my braids in her hair and wrapped her arms around my legs.

"Aunt Leah, I missed you!" she cried, burying her face against my thighs and giggling excitedly.

I passed the marshmallows to Seth then scooped Claire up into my arms—Claire was one of the few likeable things about La Push. "I missed you too, sweetie. I see you liked your braids," I commented as I fingered one of her braids and she laughed.

"Look Aunt Leah," she said as she started shaking her head viciously, making her braids chink together, creating a whole array of sounds.

"You have your own theme song, Claire-bear," I said with a smile and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, then let her go back to Quil.

The bonfire was, to my utter dismay, a welcoming. They were welcoming me back—cheesy. They also wanted to use this opportunity to fill me in on whatever had happened to the pack in my absence, which interested me greatly, especially the whole vampire-Jacob-Bella thing.

They brought out the food first, obviously. A bonfire without food for our pack was like a car with no fuel—_useless._ In order to get their attention, even if a little bit of it, they had to be fed properly. Otherwise, your attempts would be futile. I, too, stuffed myself, as all the imprints looked at me disdainfully. Had they really thought a year away would have made me more of a lady? I ignored their persistent stares as they nibbled daintily on sandwiches and I devoured three consecutive burgers.

I'd always been quite emarginated from the women on the reservation—wolf factors aside. I never felt that I truly fit in. When Sam had initially tried to patch things over between me and him, he had decided to treat me and the imprints to a day together in Port Angeles, however, his plan had deviated greatly. I'd ended up throwing a soda to Emily's face, storming out of the mall and going over to Sam's place to pummel him. Therefore, he'd silently realised that—despite my being a woman—I wasn't _that_ kind of woman. The kind of woman to spend days talking about wedding materials and kids and how cute my husband is, and all that mundane shit.

_I just wasn't._

And the fact that I still had the same perspective after travelling around the world, made me realise that this attitude was set into me. It was _me._

My appetite, when compared to the guys', was nothing. I was sitting with Seth to one side and Jake on my other side, and I had to put down my fourth burger to stop from getting sick. They both grovelled their food as if they'd never been fed in their entire lives. Apparently, I was one of the few who didn't appreciate their monstrous hunger: Billy looked on as Jacob ate with a proud look on his face, and my mom smiled softly. I guess, watching their Alpha's appetite constantly expand gave them hope for a stronger pack.

When all the food had run out—which wasn't much later, really—Billy cleared his throat, and with a syrupy voice, collected all the wolves and imprints around the fire, his voice wrapping around us like a blanket. Billy's voice was the kind of voice you'd find nowhere else: it was part of my mental image of home—Billy Black running around after us in his back yard, recounting old Quileute tales and scaring the crap out of us.

He began, as always, telling the tales, starting from the very first, the most ancient. Eventually, Billy's voice became a sort of lullaby, that lulled me to sleep. I fought—desperately—to keep my eyes open as Billy recounted the tales of Taha Aki, and his wife... from ancient Quileute's, all the way to us, the current pack. Even though I loathed being a wolf, to a certain extent, it was a great honour, and it made me proud that our ancestors had trusted us enough with their lands.

I smiled as Billy's eyes danced over each and every one of us, seeing everything, and absorbing everything. Billy's gaze was heavier than his son's: I shuddered when he locked eyes with me and he smiled knowingly. I guess he knew how powerful he was... but deep down, everyone knew that Billy was not one to exert his power on everyone. That was why we respected him.

"And now, our pack."

My head snapped up and I looked around me. The faces grew solemn as Billy was about to start telling me what had happened in my absence. I could see the memories flickering over their faces.

"You left—"

"Right after the newborn battle. Jacob was still healing." Jake tensed up beside me and cleared his throat at my words.

"Yes, you left while Jacob was still healing. It was a little while after you left, that Bella came over and explained to Jacob what was going on with her and Edward. It turned out that the Cullens had decided that their presence was destroying a lot of lives: all the wolves', Bella's, and potentially, all of the people of La Push and Forks... Bella seemed okay with it, and she seemed happy that she could finally be with Jake. The Cullens left off for Canada about two months after you left. And Bella and Jake decided to get married soon after."

Billy looked over at Jacob and smiled—sadly. "Rachel and Paul got married whilst Jacob and Bella were planning theirs. Emily and Sam..."

"Got married before the newborn battle. I know," I nodded, avoiding eye contact with anyone else around the fire. My eyes were set on Billy, who nodded and continued.

"We had two weddings extremely close to each other, it was quite hectic," he continued. "But with the Cullens gone, we only had one threat in the past year—a group of nomad vampires came to Forks because they caught the scent the Cullens left behind, but they left without a problem. So, Rachel and Paul: married. Jacob and Bella: married. Jared and Kim followed shortly, but they preferred a quiet, simple ceremony, and got married relatively quickly. Emily had Levi round about the same time the Cullens left... and basically, that's it. Obviously, after Jacob got married, Sam renounced his title and Jacob took his place as Alpha."

I nodded, studying everyone's faces. The year I'd been away seemed to stretch out forever. I distinctly remembered Sam and Emily's wedding as a drunken haze and survived with a bottle by my side. Also, I had _no_ idea why they'd decided to get married before the battle, but I guess, they wanted to make sure that, no matter the outcome of the battle, they'd still be together. Gag.

A lot had happened in that year, and the months reaching up to it.

I assumed there had never been such a hectic year in the history of the reservation before, and it seemed as if they were all still stunned by it. My mom was eyeing me tentatively, but soon, our moment was engulfed by the low hums of conversation flying over our heads between wolf and imprint. A child cried somewhere, Claire giggled in Quil's lap and Jacob sighed and closed his eyes.

A gentle tugging on the hem of my shirt made me look to my side, and there, with a pair of wide, frantic eyes, Seth was beckoning me, and kept on doing so until I got up and followed him to wherever he was heading.

He led the way through the bushes and around the trees, until he reached a small clearing and stood there, arms crossed over his chest frowning down at me.

Seth had grown physically, but I could see the maturity brewing in his eyes. I could also see the hurt he was projecting towards me.

"We need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"_Leah, Seth, in the living room _now_," my dad called out, and immediately we dropped our things and shuffled into the living room, sitting down in front of our dad and watching in silence._

_He was wringing his hands again and again, a smile playing about on his lips and a softness lighting up his eyes._

"_What happened, dad?" Leah asked and Dad's smile grew further. He leaned back in his seat and sighed, content._

"_I just wanted to talk to my kids, can't I?"_

_We both shrugged and looked back at him. _

"_Now, there's actually a reason we're having this conversation. Seeing as your mom isn't home yet, I figured this would be a perfect time to do this. Now pay attention guys, this stuff is important. We had only two kids, okay? You guys are a team—the Clearwaters. You have to stand by each other, and help each other whenever the other is in trouble, got it? Because if you don't do that to each other, no one will, got it? You have to be there for each other, especially when your mom and I are no longer here to remind you to do this stuff. If you're going to ignore me now, at least remember these words for when you're older—this is my only wish... that you two remain as close as you are now, okay?"_

_We both shrugged at his words, not realising the depth to their meaning. _

"_Fine..." he mumbled, "Go back to what you were doing..."_

_What's that supposed to mean?_ I asked, as soon as the flashback ended.

Seth looked at me with a pair of wide, doe eyes that were just drowning in sadness. _Don't you see, Leah? Don't you understand what dad was telling us?_

I nodded my big, furry head, then cocked it to one side. _Yeah, of course I understand... He wanted us to..._

Realization hit me, and it hit me hard. I whimpered as Seth's huge form towered over my cowering one. He had never seemed so scary or domineering before. His hackles were on end and his teeth were bared as a flood of memories assaulted my mind. I yelped under the hurt that came with them: of Seth, alone on the couch, of my Dad's death anniversary, of my mom crying softly in the kitchen...

_Understand now? You _abandoned_ us, Leah. Do you think it was fucking easy to watch you leave mom alone? To come home and find no one? Our house was reduced to a shell of what it once had been and you didn't even have the decency to ask us what was going on while you were away. Don't you think it hurt, Leah? I had to take care of our mother alone, and that is a handful, believe me._

_Look Seth, I know what I did may be considered selfish... but, I consulted with you guys before I made the decision!_

_That doesn't fucking change anything! _His voice bounded off of the walls of my brain and I cringed. _I wasn't going to come up to you and tell you that you shouldn't go... you would've hated me. I love you Leah, I can't bear to have you hate me._

I trembled, then fled to the nearest tree and pulled on my clothes. Seth was waiting for me in human form, arms spread open, a sad look crossing his features repeatedly. I buried myself in his chest, revelling in how much he was like my father. Guilt suffocated me, clasping its fingers around my neck and gripping tightly, knocking the air out of my lungs and leaving me gasping for breath.

Never, in my twenty four years, had I _ever_ wanted to hurt my brother and mother in any way. I'd become so blinded by the fact that I was barely wanted or acknowledged anymore on the reservation, that I failed to see what my presence—or lack of it—could do to the one's I loved. I mean, I'd always simply _assumed_ that I was a burden, that my constant pessimism brought everyone down, and that everyone needed to get away from me as much as I needed to get away from them.

I'd overlooked the fact that people would actually miss me—or rather, Seth and my mom would actually miss me. I hadn't thought about that. And now, I do admit my decisions where viewed in a very selfish, Bella-manner, but they were ones I had to live with.

How could I have hurt them so?

In trying to make myself and everyone else happy by ridding them of my constantly bitter face and words, I'd unintentionally hurt deeply the only people I'd actually wanted to make happy.

My nails dug deep in Seth's back and he cringed slightly as the skin cracked. I did not cry, as a rule. I vented my anger and sadness and frustration physically—Seth knew that and he didn't pull away.

"You'll stay here, Lee, and you won't ever leave again, promise?"

Suddenly, it felt as if a weight was pressing down on me. My chest convulsed under its magnitude, and I curled deeper into Seth. My wolf growled in my head at the cage Seth was so carefully constructing around me. He was inadvertently narrowing my boundaries, pulling them as close to me as possible, and I could already feel the wolf inside me start to squirm under the pressure. She did not like it, and neither did I.

I had seen the world, and now, neither one of the wolves could expect me to stay put and not venture out, even if not frequently. But I could no longer be restricted to the reservation like I had been before—I wanted to be free...

But if it was not Seth holding me down, it would be Jake, or Quil, or Embry, or Sam, or Paul... They'd all try to hold me back in their own way... and they'd manage, because I wouldn't have the heart to hurt most of them. I'd stay back, and slowly melt away in my shame and sadness.

It was a double-edged knife, of sorts: I'd stay, and hurt myself; I'd leave, and hurt the ones I loved... There really wasn't any way to get around it.

"Okay," I whispered, to reassure him, but at that moment, I doubted greatly how much of it was true, and how much of it was not.

-:-

"Shit," I muttered, as the coffee scorched my skin for half a second, before the pain subsided and I was left with a mess all over my hands and the table. I tried fixing up the coffee cup as best I could, trying to give it back its original shape whilst also trying not to spatter anymore coffee.

The conversation in the other room did not stop at my curses. Or rather, the monologue in the other room did not stop. Jenny Pierce, all the way from the Makah Reservation, was perched daintily on Jacob's tool cabinet, twirling her fingers in her hair whilst talking—non-stop—about some nonsensical crap that was keeping neither Jacob nor I interested. At least, I was distanced from her: I was in my 'office', and she was next to her car, giving Jacob a migraine.

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, and even if I did, I did not care.

Initially, I'd assumed Jacob's success would ultimately boil down to the fact that he was Billy's kid, but in actuality, Jacob's rising success was due to the fact that he was considered an _extremely_ attractive man—my mom's words. In fact, most of our clients were women, which was so cliché, as they'd literally stand at the garage door, as Jake bent over their car, to gawk at his ass.

They'd be so wrapped up in staring him down, that they'd barely notice me, offering up coffee and asking for money. Fucking cougars. I'd had no idea La Push was infested with them. Jenny Pierce, however, was not a cougar. She was just a spoiled brat from the Makah with a pale-faced dad who had the cash no one on both reservations had, and let his daughter bathe in luxuries people like me only dreamed of. I was not jealous—not in the least. If having money meant being like Jenny, then I'd rather live in a box...

But the moment she pranced into the garage, with her convertible, I'd just wanted to throw up over her seemingly expensive shoes.

"And I really couldn't believe she was serious, right?"

Jacob grunted a response, and that set her off talking again.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up_, I mentally-sang as I handed the coffee to her, and she glared at the murky liquid. _Say something_, I dared her with my eyes, and she seemed to pick up on my threat, because she quickly gulped it down.

Jacob eyed me gratefully—I guess the coffee was the only thing that could shut her up.

"How many more?" he asked, leaning against the car and cocking his head to the side.

"Five," I mumbled, slapping one of his wrenches against my palm repeatedly. "Two women," I added, because I thought he had a right to know.

He groaned and got back to fixing up Jenny's car. She was silent behind me, obviously realising that talking in my presence would not be such a smart idea. _Nice move._ Jenny was... okay, pretty-wise. Most half-casts—that is, Native American-pale faced mix—were good-looking. Since we only had a handful of them, they were also very striking, especially in a sea of people who basically all looked the same. Her eyes were lighter than a normal Native American—a murky green—which complimented her stock of dark hair greatly, and her copper skin. I guessed she was a winner back on the Makah, but here, she was not making any hits with Jacob. Had Embry or Collin or Brady been here, I would've been audience to some major flirting... but Jacob, despite being married to a woman who was not even in the same state, did not let his eyes stray over to Jenny. _Not once._

I admired his loyalty, really. Black had always been a very loyal boy. Even when we were younger, and he'd promised we'd get married in his back yard in summer, and Maggie Perez had wanted to ruin our wedding by bribing him with jelly tots, Jacob had stood strong and determined.

I smiled at the memory. Back then, everyone had wanted to marry everyone. I'd married Jacob once, Sam five times... Rachel had married Jared too many times to count, and they'd had a million babies... Something in my chest tightened and I winced. Neither one of them was looking at me enough to watch the discomfort that flickered across my features.

_You can't leave the reservation because you'll hurt the ones around you. At some point, away from the reservation, you'll realise that you're actually hurting yourself as well._

-:-

Jacob held the garage door in place as I secured the padlock on its hinges.

"Jenny sure can talk, huh?"

I snorted. "_That_ is the understatement of the century, Jake. Jenny has verbal diarrhea. I swear, if she'd spent one more second in there, I would have bit her head off."

Jake kicked at some dirt in front of him and smirked. "Over-reacting, Lee?"

I paused, and glared at him. "Admit it. She bothered you to hell, too. And don't try to fool me, Jake—I can read you like an open book."

He grinned and pushed me along, all the while never breaking my gaze. "She's an asshole. But she pays, and she pays good. We can't complain, Clearwater."

"For once," I began with a dramatic sigh, "you're right."

"And, come on. You have to help me out here; when we have men clients, you complain because they harass you. When we have women clients, you complain because they harass _me_, or talk too much. What else is there left? Would you rather we have vampire clients? Unicorns—"

I punched his cheek because his nose was too pretty for breaking. He was momentarily stunned, staring at me open-mouthed, like I'd grown two heads or something. Then, he grinned, and ducked down to grab me from my waist, pushing me down to the ground. He pinned me down, using his weight to prevent me from squirming an inch, then did something we hadn't done in years.

He sucked back a breath, tilting his head back, then when he lowered it back down, the light caught in the string of saliva that was slowly descending from his mouth, and I yelled as hard as I could.

"Jake, that's gross. _Close your fucking mouth!_" I yelled, shaking my shoulders to try to release myself from his grip. Jacob's eyes just crinkled as he lowered his face closer to mine and the saliva almost grazed my cheek. Then, in a second, he was off of me, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and grinning stupidly.

"I hate you, Black."

"That's a lesson learnt. Don't punch the Alpha, Clearwater."

I flipped him off then turned on my heel, walking into the woods that led to my home. Jacob followed soon after, matching his pace with mine and humming to himself.

"How's Bella?" I asked after a few minutes of needed silence.

His shoulders slumped, and he shrugged. "Good, I guess. Courses are going well, and the other students are being nice to her and whatever..."

"That's... good, I guess."

"I _guess_," he snorted, lifting his face to look up at the trees around us. A few birds fluttered about above us, from tree to tree, and a branch snapped somewhere. "She'll be coming down for a couple of days in a few weeks time... She'll be staying with dad and I..."

"Great," I muttered sarcastically.

"You don't like her, do you?" he asked, stopping once again and staring me down.

"What was your first hint?"

He glared at me for a second. "Why?"

I shrugged and continued walking on—he'd follow if he wanted to. "Various things. Her ego-centric, selfish character, her bitchy demeanour, her fake selflessness, the fact that she's hurting you... Need I go on?"

Jacob smiled, and then slung his arm over my shoulders. "It's nice to know someone's there to stand up for me," he said with a wink. "But you're talking about my wife so... _Shut up!"_ he mock-yelled, as he pushed me around.

I rolled my eyes. "You know that they're all true, you turd."

"Nice, Leah."

"Thank you, Jacob," I spat, a cocky smile gracing my lips. "They're still true."

-:-

"What's this?" I asked as Jacob placed a heavy album in my lap.

Jacob flopped down onto the couch beside me. "It's my wedding album. I figured, since you weren't there, I thought I'd show it to you, and all."

I scowled at him, showing him that—obviously—I did not like the idea. But then, I rolled my eyes for his sake and started flipping through it. There were _many_ photos. Of course, Quileute weddings were always considered a big deal. There were photos of Jacob in a tux, standing by the door, anxiety written all over his features, smiling apprehensively at the camera, of Paul being annoying on the couch, of Billy all dolled up, of Embry and Quil raiding the fridge for one final time, of Rachel scowling at the camera, also fully made up in her dress...

Then of the venue: an arch, intricately braided with white orchids... obviously the work of my mom and Emily, or of the women from the tribe... From the looks of it, it had been a small wedding—obviously expected from Bella, who had this weird mania of being humiliated in front of large amounts of people. Photos of Jake at the altar, of Bella descending the stairs... But what struck me as genuinely odd was that Bella was not smiling. Not in one single picture. There were weird photos of her on her own, staring at the bouquet in her hands, a pensive look about her, other creepy ones of her staring at Jacob like some psycho...

I couldn't bear to look at them anymore. What kind of sick, twisted woman was _not_ happy on her wedding day? I closed the album with more force than was necessary, and Jacob picked up on that immediately.

"Something wrong?"

My head snapped up to look at him, and I was about to blurt out the whole, plain truth, but I didn't, and I held myself back, especially when I saw the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he tried to suppress a smile, the innocence written all over his juvenile features. Jacob was much more mature than he looked, and I had no doubt in my mind that he would be able to take any truths I'd throw at him... But still, I couldn't find it in me to hurt little Jacob Black.

I smiled, and handed him the album, and watched his he cradled it against his chest like it was a child.

"Nothing," I said, letting the smile linger on my lips for a while longer as he grinned and stowed away the album.

-:-

"Why did you let him get married?" I asked Billy bluntly as I nursed a cup of coffee before me. I had no idea where Jake was, but apparently, Seth was keeping him occupied enough for me to grill Billy about the whole Jacob-Bella situation.

Billy raised his brows in surprise, but then the expression on his face settled into an impassive mask. How Billy could be so indifferent to his son's current situation was beyond me. "What did you expect me to do, Leah? _Stop him?"_

I snorted and clasped my fingers tighter around the mug's handle. "It's kind of your job—as his dad—to pry open his eyes for him when he's doing something characteristically stupid."

Billy leaned forward, and his eyes were filled with a certain authority that sent a shrill of terror up and down the length of my spine. "Think about it, Leah. If you were getting married—blindly in love with the guy, who you believed was the man of your dreams and the perfect person for you—would you appreciate it if your mother tried to ruin your wedding plans?"

I stared at Billy for a few seconds, watching the truth flicker over his features. Billy's words explained the situation neither one of us wanted to admit. As much as any of the other wolves' could've tried to stop Jake from getting married, ultimately—as pack brothers—we wouldn't have been able to stop Jake from being happy.

"I guess it's true."

"I couldn't break his heart, Leah. And you might say that _that_ is pretty bad parenting on my part, but I hadn't seen him so happy in ages, and I thought, 'Well, if the Bella girl is making him so happy, why not let him go ahead'?"

"Won't it affect the pack who the Alpha marries?"

Billy winced. "The Council is ready to give him an annulment if he wants—"

"What?" I screeched. "You sent Jacob to be married, _already_ with the notion that this could possibly be a failed marriage? What twisted logic is that?"

"Our tribe has had annulments before... Alphas used to wed before they imprinted, and all hell would break loose. Most of them would end up getting annulled."

I slammed my palm against the table. I'd always been raised up believing that a marriage is indissoluble, no matter what. But as my palm came into contact with the table, the anger boiling inside me slowly disappeared. I knew that, if Jacob came to an annulment, I wouldn't stand in the way of letting the council give it to them. Even though it went against my principles... It wouldn't be the first Quileute marriage to be annulled. I distinctly remembered, years ago, someone had gotten married quickly, and a few months later, they'd been granted an annulment.

I still couldn't imagine Jacob leaving Bella. Bella leave Jake, I could picture easily, but either way... Jacob would end up miserable for the rest of his life.

-:-

"What's for dinner?" Jacob asked as he opened the door to his home and I stepped in. My mom had made some lasagne and had sent my down to Billy's to give it to them. Jacob's face brightened as he saw the dish in my arms. "Oh, Sue's lasagne! Dad! Look at what Leah's got us!" he called as he took the dish from me and sauntered into the kitchen.

They dug into it immediately, and the dinner conversation was quite bland as I stood in a corner, hovering, watching as their faces contorted into masks of approval and happiness as they munched on mom's lasagne. Suddenly, the phone rang and I answered it on the third ring.

"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver, and Jacob's head snapped up immediately, his fork halfway towards his mouth.

"Hi, Leah," she'd gotten used to me being over at Jacob's now, "Is Jake there?"

I was about to tell her that, yes, he was, but a movement from the table caught my eye and I turned around to watch as Jacob shook his head violently at me. I hesitated for a second, then turned away to face the kitchen counter. "No, he isn't here, Bella. Would you like me to leave a message?"

"Uh... no, it's okay. I'll just call later."

As I slipped the receiver back into its cradle, it dawned on me: and so, the turmoil began.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related. All belongs to Stephanie Meyer :)**

**So, I realised I didn't put an AU for the previous chapter, which I guess was pretty mean of me- but, I was in such a hurry to get the chapter out there, that I didn't even preview it -.-' Anyways, thanks for the awesome reviews: I really appreciate each and every one of them! And for those who read and don't review... WHAT THE HELL GUYS? Bhahaha, it's okay.**

**Hope you enjoy the chappy!**

* * *

Chapter 5

"How do I look?" Jacob asked as he stepped into the living room and straightened out his shirt. He was actually looking quite dapper—he was wearing a crisp white polo shirt, which I'd bought for him in the past week, and a pair of navy shorts that both complimented his dark skin tone. He'd taken the liberty of giving his unruly hair some sort of style, and also, he'd discovered the use of a deodorant.

I smiled from my spot on the couch. "Awesome, Black. Bella's going to wish she _never_ left Forks in the first place," I added with a wink, and I detected a faint blush to his cheeks. "Don't act all excited, Black. You're just meeting your wife."

"Well, yeah... But I want to make her..."

"Jealous?" I added, and he nodded. "You want to make her jealous enough to come back?"

"Yeah..." he said softly, blowing out his cheeks and patting his knee slowly. "I just want her back, Lee."

"I know the feeling, Jake. But she'll be damn insane if this," I began, motioning to his getup, "does not work."

He grinned. "Thanks, Lee. You're not getting a new coffee machine though."

"Ah, fuck," I teased, leaning back into the couch and propping my legs on the coffee table in front of me. I was about to start talking again when the phone rang from the kitchen and Jacob bolted upright to get it. He was probably expecting Bella to call to update him on where she was and when she was expecting to make it to La Push.

The conversation was muffled from Bella's end, and Jacob didn't give in much input, so I didn't strain myself to _try_ to listen in. I just stared at the muted television, not bothering to turn up the sound.

"_What?_" I heard Jake yell from the kitchen, and suddenly a muffled crash from kitchen made me get off the couch and join him.

The cordless phone was in pieces on the floor before him as Jacob was pacing the length of the kitchen floor repeatedly, his nostrils flared.

"What the fuck happened?"

He glared at me for a few seconds. "She can't make it. She got caught up with some assignments—gah!" he yelled, and clutched at his hair. Frustration flickered all over his features. My eyes flickered from Jake's face to the remnants of the phone on the floor, and back again.

When had he ended up in this situation?

A part of me wanted to wrap my arms around him—he was like my brother—to comfort him and to show him that _at least_ someone was there for him. But a more rational part of me held back. Even though I'd grown up with Jacob, there wasn't the type of confidence between us that required or demanded _any_ type of physical contact. So, I held back, my arms held firmly against my sides, watching as Jacob slowly melted down.

"I can't _believe_ she is bailing on me. How could she? How _could_ she?" he yelped, slamming his palms down on the counter.

I was about to tell him that he was going to break the counter top, but I bit my tongue and stopped myself from getting him even more livid than he was now.

I mean, I knew Bella was a bitch, period. But I had no idea that she had the stomach to stoop so low. Jacob hadn't seen her—his bloody _wife_—in months now. It was cruel and unusual punishment on her part.

"Now I have to cancel the fucking reservation... and you bought me this shirt for _nothing_, and I made Collin patrol longer hours for _nothing_ and I bought this corsage for _nothing_..."

The list went on and on. It took him approximately fifteen minutes to get it all off of his chest, and when he was finally done, he sat at the table and stared out of the dining room window at the silent world outside.

"You should call to cancel, Jake, before it's too late," I urged softly, placing my phone in his palm and nudging him with my knee. I had never been good with physical contact, _especially_ when boys got sappy and teary. It was not my scene, really, and whenever Seth broke down, it was always mom who took care of the crying part, whilst I always took over the pep-talk part.

His fingers curled around my phone, then he retrieved a card from his back pocket and quickly dialled the number. I'd watched—during the past few days—as Jacob prepared all the necessary details for his date with Bella: he chose his clothes carefully, the restaurant, the location, the time, how they'd go down to First Beach after dinner together... Every painstaking detail, every _second_, Jake had planned out perfectly.

"Would you like to come with me?" he asked suddenly, and my eyebrows almost disappeared into my hairline in surprise. I was about to snort and say no. Tell him that he had to be out of his mind to want to have dinner with me. But, as I watched the sadness flicker over his features, the desperation and anger swirl in his eyes... I just couldn't say no, when I knew that doing so would break Jake's heart even further.

"Fine..." I mumbled, "Let me go change." I walked out of his house and towards mine, hopping into the shower quickly and pulling out my most decent dress from the back of the wardrobe, applying a little bit of makeup and giving my hair a _semblance _of style. I couldn't believe I was going out to dinner with Jacob Black. Jacob, who was _married_. Whose wife couldn't care less about him...

Who knows what the people of La Push would say if they saw me with Jacob? I'd already garnered a pretty tainted reputation before I'd left off for my trip; what with me constantly running around half-naked with a bunch of shirtless guys. That hadn't done much to boost my status, especially with the women of La Push who made sure to keep their kids away from me... But I didn't really care anymore. There had been a time when their words would annoy me to no end, but now, I rose up above their petty remarks and I just don't listen to what they're saying anymore.

I hadn't had dinner in a restaurant since the first time I'd phased. I hadn't been anywhere _decent_, really, since I'd phased, so eating at a restaurant was foreign to me. Usually, meals were always served to me in my own house, Billy's, or at bonfires, or whatever the wolves could salvage. Jacob didn't seem too accustomed with it either. The waiter was astonished at our huge order, and even more so when we cleaned up our dishes entirely, leaving no testament to our order.

Dinner conversation was easy—we flowed from one subject to another easily and talking to Jacob was as effortless as breathing. It was quite late when we headed out of the restaurant, walking casually side by side, laughing at a memory that Jake had just recalled... I hadn't been this at ease since the trip, and without want, it brought back memories of when I was away. A sense of bliss coursed through my veins, raising me up into an ecstatic state.

Dinner had made me realise that I could have two separate lives: my pack life, and my social life... I didn't have to latch onto my pack life and just live by it _constantly_. I thought this through as we drove home and Jake's little Rabbit, trees flashing before my eyes, the smell of pine and fresh soil calming my nostrils and easing me back home.

Jake tensed as soon as we crossed the border to La Push. His knuckles whitened around the steering wheel, and he started to accelerate more than was his norm. I stared at him incredulously, before a sharp intake of breath made me realise _exactly_ what had put him on edge.

_Bella's scent._

It was fresh as we drove on, and it was obvious why he was speeding up. There goes breaking his heart for nothing, I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes and rested my head against the window.

Bella's truck was parked in front of Billy's, and she was sitting on the porch steps, her chin in her hands. Her head snapped up as she heard the Rabbit rumble up towards her, and she started making her way towards us as Jacob parked. Jacob was ecstatic—he barely had the sense to turn off the car before he sprinted out of it towards Bella. He lifted her off of the ground, twirling her around as she laughed brightly, holding onto him for dear life. I watched this intimate moment between them from the car, before she turned to face the car, then moved over to close the door.

I tensed up immediately. What would she think if she saw me in it? I debated making a run for it, but it was already too late. She was standing by the car, gripping onto the door, her wide eyes looking dead at me, seething silently.

"_Leah_," she breathed finally, before she slammed the door shut in my face, and turned to face Jake. "What the _fucking_ hell?"

"What?" Jacob asked incredulously, stuffing his hands into his pockets. I slipped out of the car and stood with my body leaning against it, as I watched what Bella was going to accuse Jake of.

"Seriously? I'm not around and you decide to use Leah Clearwater as your fuck buddy?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on, Jacob, I'm not fucking stupid. She works with you," she began, obviously ignoring my presence, or rather, choosing to talk to crap about me in front of, "you go to dinner with her—something you were supposed to do with _me_—"

"You bailed out on me!" Jacob yelled, opening his arms out beside his body, a wild look crossing his features.

"Well, I didn't expect you to take Leah, now did I?" she asked, jabbing a finger to his chest.

I was quiet for this whole time. I was literally rooted to the spot, even though I knew I shouldn't be intruding on couple matters. However, something about the air was enraging the wolf inside me. She was angry, uncomfortable as she squirmed inside my head, whimpering as I refused to let her break free. I gnashed my jaws and held on the car roof to control my erratic shaking.

"How could you, Jacob?" she blubbered, wrapping her arms around herself, like she was so used to doing from Jake's memories of her.

"Bella, I didn't do anything. I just went to eat with Leah. You do it all the time with your college friends, and you don't see me throwing tantrums, do you?"

"But that's not the _same_. It's _Leah._"

Bella's inability to properly explain why everything was my fault, unnerved me to no end.

"What, Bella, what does _that_ mean?"

She huffed out a breath in frustration, "Well, Jake, she's goddamn gorgeous, okay?" she stated, turning round to deliberately to stare at me. If the term looks could kill was true, I would have been so dead...

"What does that have to do with anything? She's _Leah_, she's like my _sister_, Bella, how could you think I'd ever cheat on you?"

"I don't know, Jake..." she mumbled, ducking her head and walking inside. Jacob's gaze followed her inside, before he turned to me with a sad look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I whispered, and he nodded simply, then trailed inside and shut the door behind him. I stood outside, hearing the muffled voices from inside slowly waft over the front yard towards me. My wolf was still uncomfortable—something in the air had made her feel queasy. I took in a deep breath, and immediately, I started to shake even more.

I could barely control myself, and stepped away from the Rabbit quickly, knowing that if I remained close to it, and destroyed it, Jacob would kill me. I stumbled back, regaining my balance then sprinted into the brush of woods close by, quickly slipping off my dress and shoes and not pausing to gather them up before I phased.

I panted, my paws thundering against the forest floor, as I strived to get away from Jacob's house. My wolf was a bit more at ease, though she was still quite unsettled and nauseated.

I didn't know if Jacob had noticed it—truth be told, I wished he hadn't—but if he had, then he had been very civil about it in front of me.

Bella had _reeked _of vampire.

-:-

The next morning, back at the garage, Jacob looked battered. He had large dark bags under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped as if in defeat. He barely lifted his face up to look at me when I greeted him. I could tell the past night had been quite rough.

"Coffee?" He grunted a response and I took it as a yes. He buried himself chest deep in the first client's car for two hours, causing the client to leave in the midst of it, and me to spend my day staring at Jacob's back without so much as a word. The day passed by pretty much in a blur—I kept clients entertained, mostly, whilst Jacob worked like a dog all day without breaks.

At the end of the day, after infinite silence, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?" he mumbled, as he tossed his tools into his tool box, not even turning to face me properly.

"What's wrong?"

He paused for a second, took in a deep breath then turned to face me. "I didn't sleep all night. Bella yelled at me all night long. I had to call Quil to take my dad over to his place because he couldn't bear to see us fight. It was _horrible_. She accused me of cheating on her, _me_ cheating on_ her_, with you. That I opened the garage to be with you, that I take every opportunity possible to go out with—like the dinner... It was hell, Lee. And I'm dreading going back home because she's still here, and it's inevitable that we start fighting again. I can't take any more of it. She's driving me insane."

I was silent for a few minutes, watching as his nostrils flared and he tried to contain his anger. "Do you... uh, do you want me to talk to her, or something? Clear some things up with her? Explain to her that there's nothing going on between us?"

He scowled at me. "I'd rather do it myself. It would seem stupid that she believe _you _and not me. It would hurt my pride." I wanted to roll my eyes at that comment. The boys and their damn pride.

"So, what are you going to do about it, then?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me curiously. "Why do you care?"

I scoffed at him. "Isn't it obvious, Nimrod? I don't like being the cause of a married couple's problems, okay? It just doesn't sink well on my conscience. If I can fix it, then I'll try my best. Also, you're my Alpha, Jake: what upsets you, directly upsets me."

He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I can't be a better Alpha, but I'm just getting a lot of shit thrown my way..."

He rambled on from there, using his hands to further explain what he meant, but all the while, my mind was wandering off somewhere completely different. The vampire scent I'd picked up on Bella the night before had been haunting me all night and day. My wolf was still squirming from its memory, but I was torn down the middle: a part of me wanted to tell Jacob about it, explain to him and open his eyes, but another didn't want to break his heart, first and foremost, and also stop myself from seeming like a whiny bitch who didn't care for Bella... even though I was.

I worried my bottom lip all through Jake's monologue, throwing in a smile here and there occasionally to show him that I was actually listening, but still, it was like my head was imploding under the pressure of the responsibility that had suddenly been thrown onto my shoulders. I was trapped: I had no idea what the rational, correct thing to do would be, but I also didn't want to make a rash decision wish I would ultimately regret in the long run. Keeping my mouth shut seemed like a very good thing to do right now. So I did.

I kept up conversation with Jacob easily as we walked back home, but as if by some silent agreement, once we neared the Blacks' house, I fell back into the woods and phased, to do my best to avoid another tantrum form Bella.

However, I was not finished with the Blacks for that evening. When Jacob had long since disappeared into the house, I emerged—as silently as possible—from the woods and strode as inconspicuously as possible towards Bella's truck. La Push was quite a quiet area after the sun had set, so really, I didn't have much to worry about getting caught or something. Tentatively, I circled the truck, sniffing around it and taking in its various scents. Bella's was all over it—in fact, sniffing the truck was like drowning in Bella. Involuntarily, I shuddered. However, hers wasn't the only scent on the truck. A faint, sweet-sickly smell, that my brain had accustomed to that of a vampire's, lurked next to the passenger door and at the back of the truck, that made my hackles rise on end.

My wolf recognized the scent. It wasn't one which belonged to a human-eating vampire, but rather to a vegetarian vamp, like the Cullens. Already, I was growing suspicious. I stepped away from the truck and eyed the truck carefully... I dared myself to wonder if Bella was actually seeing Edward again, but I didn't feel like tiring myself with thoughts. I decided I'd think it over the next day, after a good night's sleep.

-:-

Apparently, putting off thinking about what Bella could _possibly_ be doing up in Alaska had not been a good idea. I spent a restless night, constantly tossing and turning in bed, trying to come to terms with it all.

I knew it wasn't my business to pry, but it concerned me still. Jacob was, after all, my Alpha. Whatever affected him would affect me, and my wolf did not like to see Jacob's in distress, or any of the others', for that matter. I woke up in the morning—still quite unnerved from my sleepless night—and ate breakfast silently. Deciding how to tackle the situation was a bitch—I didn't know if I should talk to Jacob or settle things with Bella first... or just stay out of it all. I myself did not enjoy it when other people nosed into my stuff, so by looking at it through this perspective, I assumed neither of them would be quite enthusiastic about me butting into their married life.

Still...

I wanted to run through a wall. The scent of vampire was still seared into my nostrils and brain, and I just couldn't forget it, no matter how much I tried to do so. I called Jacob and told him that I would be running a bit late for the garage this morning, and when he gave me the go ahead, I quickly pulled on some decent clothes and ran down to Billy's place. Bella's scent was all over it

"Bella," I greeted serenely as I stepped through the front door. She was in the kitchen, scrubbing at the dishes, and they clanked into the sink once she heard my voice. I'd always instilled a sense of fear in Bella when I was around—though it was unintentional, that did not mean that I did not like it.

"L-Leah? What are you doing here?"

I scoffed at her and crossed my arms over my chest. "I think you _know_ very well what I am doing here, Isabella. I don't know what crap Jacob's pulling, but that is a large stink you brought down with you from Alaska," I sneered as she paled only slightly.

"I don't know what you mean," she snapped, turning round to continue scrubbing at the dishes.

"You don't know _bullshit_. I have no idea what you're doing in college if you can't figure this shit out, Bella."

She turned around and glared at me with her soulless chocolate eyes. "You have _no _right to barge in here and patronize me, Leah Clearwater."

"On contraire," I snorted, rolling my eyes at her null statement, "I have as much right to be here as you, if not more. _You, _on the other hand, have no right to treat Jacob like trash and abuse of his innocence, you slut."

"_I'm_ not doing anything, Leah. And you also have no right to lecture me on how I should or should not treat my husband. It's none of your business," she said, turning to jab a finger to my chest. By some unknown force inside me, I did not bite that finger off, but instead spit in her face and stormed out of the house.

I was not going to confront Jacob as yet. I hoped to God, Bella would talk to him herself, but knowing that this was very unlikely to happen, I went back home, where my mom was still sorting out the laundry before she went to work.

"Mom, I think Bella is cheating on Jacob with Edward."

My mom stared at me as she tugged at the shirt in her hands. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she would tear it in two, but she didn't, and swiftly lowered the shirt to the table, before she started pacing.

"This is going to kill both Jacob and Billy," she stated as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes. "Edward's scent is all over Bella. I have no idea why Jacob didn't notice it himself."

"Sometimes, Leah, when you're madly in love with someone, you fail to even see the truths that are in front of you. It's not surprising that Jacob, despite his enhanced senses, is not noticing the scent. Or maybe, he _has_ noticed it, but he has chosen to ignore it. I don't know..."

"But _Mom..._" I moaned, "what am I supposed to do?"

My mom cast me a sympathetic smile. "Let everything take it's natural toll, Leah. And when the time is right, act upon what you know."

-:-

"Look, this is the alternator fan..." Jacob said, pointing to a fan somewhere inside the open car bonnet. I had no idea why he was suddenly trying to get me interested in cars, or rather, how they worked. I simply nodded every time he pointed out something relatively new, feigning interest.

We were between customers, and since Jacob apparently had nothing better to do, he had taken it upon himself—strictly voluntarily—to tutor me on car mechanics, but it wasn't as if I had asked for it, nor had I encouraged it... In fact, I was still quite confused as to _why_ Jacob was actually giving me this lecture.

"If we don't take out the fan frequently to clean it, we risk the car not working properly so... it's... very..." he stopped mid-sentence, and that made me snap my head up to look at him. He had gone very tense all of a sudden, the muscles in his neck growing taut as he looked out at the woods opposite the garage entrance.

"What is it, Jacob?" I asked, trying to catch his attention, but he was having none of it. His eyes narrowed into tiny, black slits as the wolf inside him took over. Upon realizing that Jake's wolf was extremely present, my wolf woke up herself, and a horrible, bitter sweet stench filled my nostrils.

"It's fresh," Jacob said when he heard me sniff the air, "they're _here._"


End file.
